Follow up

This morning I went in to see the doc again. He says everything is fine and advised against any real exercise or heavy lifting for several months, which means I am going to lose any muscle mass that I ever had which sucks hardcore. It was kind of a whirlwind visit and I barely had time to get my questions out. I did find out that there is a 98% chance that the cancer will not come back (pretty good odds) and that I only need to get a chest x-ray and bloodwork every month and a CT scan every 6 months for the next year (then it goes to every two months for the second year, every 3 months for the third year...). The docs told me not to worry about the residual pain in my groin, that it is normal (which is good news). I get off the diet on Saturday and was advised to ease off of it, which is a little disappointing because I am really craving red meat at this point. Also I have to avoid alcohol for a few weeks and can't go swimming for a month (which is basically the only time I'd want to go swimming, the weeks that I am in Florida. Overall it was annoying news, but obviously not bad news, especially considering other news that doctors have given me this summer.

Otherwise, I am feeling fine. I am getting more and more energy every day. I walked several blocks last night with no problem. I'll actually be in Florida in about 24 hours for the big wedding(s). I'm going to go see the kids from work tonight at a "Goodbye Dinner" put on by the firm. So off goes the pre-pubescent facial hair.

Can you spot yours?

These cards make me look popular. It's a wonderful illusion!

Filling in the gap

The past couple of days have gone really well. I've steadily felt better, more nimble/spry, hungrier, straighter (posture-wise), and just generally more normal every day. Yesterday I ventured out to the Natural History Museum and the Hayden Planetarium, which was pretty fun. I was wheeled around in a wheelchair, the amusement of which was increased greatly by a stick of rock candy and my repeated attempts at conversation with kids in strollers (my wheeled brethren). I even had the chance to act like a parishioner at a TV-evangelistic church when the wheelchair got caught on the way into an elevator and I jumped up and walked in under my own power.

On a completely different topic, I feel the need (in the name of science, perhaps) to fill in the game between going to Dr. Motzer and having the RPLND surgery. As you may recall, our story left off with me visiting my oncologist, Dr. Motzer at Memorial Sloan Kettering, thus beginning a journey during which I exposed my genitals to virtually every staff member of a second hospital. Unlike Marans, Dr. Motzer was concerned about the anomaly on the left side. As he explained it, the cancer would most likely spread to the right side first so if something was showing on the left side, that could mean that had already spread to the right and the left nodes, but that the right nodes weren't showing up in the CT scan. The prognosis: a new CT scan and either chemo and then Retroperitoneal Lymph Node Dissection (RPLND) or just the RPLND. You can read more about the RPLND and when it is performed if you want. I had a CT scheduled and made an appointment to come back to Dr. Motzer and to see Dr. Sheinfeld (the surgeon) the next week (since I was going to need the surgery either way).

That was a fun week. My mom was convinced that I was going to have to have chemo. I wasn't at first, but by the end of the week had convinced myself of that too. The CT scan was easy and relatively painless, especially compared to my first one. Seems like MSK did everything better than St. Vincent's.

We went to Dr. Sheinfeld first. He said the new CT scan didn't show the problem of the first, which meant that I wouldn't need the chemo. That was a huge relief. Basically there were no signs that the cancer had yet spread, but there was a 50% chance that it would spread. Dr. Sheinfeld recommended that I have the RPLND both to determine if it had spread and to stop it from spreading. He said that was the standard protocol in the US and would more than likely keep me from ever having to have chemo. He also noted, however, that in other countries they wouldn't do the surgery.

I thought it over for a few minutes and decided to have the surgery based completely on math. The surgery would come back 50% of the time and if it came back, it would do so within the first year 90% of the time. That meant there was a 45% chance that I would have a semester of law school or my studying for the bar exam interrupted by a relapse. I didn't like those odds, especially considering the surgery would only cause me to miss 3 weeks of work at my firm and would allow me to start school on time. Dr. Sheinfeld even said I'd still be able to study abroad.

I scheduled the surgery right there and didn't even need to go back to Dr. Motzer. I was apprehensive about the surgery, but ready to get it over with and move on with life. I just kept working at the firm and enjoying my summer until right before the surgery. I left my firm (with an offer to return permanently) just before the surgery and that pretty much catches you up to this post.

Here ya go!

As promised, a picture of my facial hair. I think the beard needs a little work but the moustache is coming in quite nicely.

Checking the mail today was like Christmas! I got several packages and cards, it made me feel all fuzzy inside. Thanks everybody. I'm planning on high-tailing it out of here next Friday so if any of you are thinking of sending something and don't think it will get here within the week, hold off. Email me for my home address.

Also, among the wonderful gifts was Season 3 of Family Guy. A wonderful present indeed. The only problem is that I have no idea who it is from. So fess up so I can thank you.

Off the ride?

Maybe the train pulled into the station and I'm getting off this roller coaster. Today I have (knock wood) felt pretty good all day. No pain killers, eating more (just finished a bowl of veggie chili), even walked down the street to get a smoothie this morning. My back hasn't hurt much at all today and my groin (which felt awful yesterday) has only felt a little bad. I haven't felt nauseous and I really feel I'm back on the road to recovery. Still missing real food like crazy. I don't understand you vegetarians. If we weren't meant to eat meat God wouldn't have made it so tasty. Also, we wouldn't have needed such sharp teeth.

Roller Coaster

The last couple of days have been a lot like the title of this post. I've had moments when I've felt fine, others when I felt like I was going to hurl while simultaneously being in immense pain. A few hours ago I was miserable and now, other than a bit of the constant pain (partially alleviated by a heating pad) I'm doing fine.

Yesterday was pretty active. I went up to the roof of my building (first post-op experience with stairs... no problems). I walk around the roof a bit and then ended up doing laps of the shaded part (hot time, summer in the city). I'm still pretty hunched over when I walk, even though I try to stretch out so the main effect is that this aggravated my back pain a bit.

Then last night I actually ventured out to the movies. I figured I could sit in a movie theatre for two hours as well as I could sit on the couch for that long and I had definitely experienced hours of barely moving over the last couple of days. This assumption was basically true, but I realized halfway through the movie that on the couch I had the freedom to not be sitting there any longer should I choose which I mostly lost in the movie theatre. I decided to go to the slightly further away and much ghettoer theatre on 34th over the huge and really nice theatre on 42nd b/c I was afraid of the Times Square crowd with my big incision. Also, we took a cab there and back. In the cab home I started feeling sick and my back started to kill me. When we got home I went up to lie down and my mom bought me a heating pad. Great investment. Today my back hurts more than it ever has but the heating pad gives me so relief (it's on my back as I type). The rest of last night is a bit of a hellish blur. I didn't really feel good till morning and didn't sleep very well.

Today has been the same mixed feelings. Faith left this morning, which sucks. The nurse from my doc's office called to check up on me which was comforting. I have an appointment to go see him August 3. Also, in my good period, I started reading Devil in the White City. Pretty good so far. Had some visitors who showered me with love and gifts but I think the longer visiting sessions are wearing me out and I may need to cut back (so hard to do).

Oh, and I shaved today. Not everything, I left the moustache and a pathetic excuse for a goatee (I like to call it chin music). I figure I might as well grow these monstrosities while I am locked away from society for my own curiosity more than anything. Again, hopefully I'll pull out the camera and get some pics soon.

Enough is enough. Till next time...

HOME

A lot has happened since my last post... the biggest thing being that I am now home. I actually was released last night around 6. I had no idea it was going to happen until yesterday morning. Originally I was slated to leave sometime Monday. Then, since I was progressing well the doctors said maybe Sunday... but I still though Monday because I didn't want to get my hopes up. So it came as a surprise yesterday morning when my doctor said: A) I could eat some real food (at least as real as fat-free can be) and B) that if I kept it down I could leave that evening. So I accomplished letter A (FF oatmeal with lots of honey to mask the horribleness, some banana, a bite or two of awful canned pineapple) and the doc complied with letter B.

So here I am. I've got some Vicadin (fun dreams), some Colace (if you don't know, consider yourself lucky), and something else that I barely know what it is but take obediently (Soma?). I've eaten a variety of foods: Frosted Flakes in skim milk, FF blueberry muffins (pretty darn good), some salad with mushrooms, tomatoes, and egg whites, blueberries, jelly beans, a baked potato w/ FF sour cream and chives, FF Fig Newtons. I write them all out to let you know how much fat-free and edible (if not the most flavorful) foods are out there. I've got to keep this diet up for two weeks and it shouldn't be as bad as I originally feared (which puts it in line with most of this whole surgery process). !!OVERSHARE ALERT!! Now I've just got to focus on getting this stuff back out the other end. Hello Colace and prune juice!

Overall I'm doing pretty well. One of my biggest concerns right now is that I hunch over like an old man, which is obnoxious and hurts my back. Hopefully I'll start to straighten out soon.

One more note: I haven't shaved since before the surgery (more hair on my chin than on arms and belly). Unfortunately, I have the facial hair of a twelve-year-old-boy so I've got a creepy little moustache, a goatee of sorts, and four hairs popping out of each cheek. Combined with my quasi-uni-brow, which grows ever more unified by the unplucked day, and my relatively new penchant for making odd faces, I'm a pretty weird looking dude. Apologies for a long description with no picture, hopefully I'll scare someone into taking one soon.

First meal

Visual evidence that I ingested a food product tonight. It was my first since Sunday. Weird how you start to miss those little things like eating. It was some mediocre chicken broth, (I ate half) followed by some decent Italian ice. I ate all of that. Now here's hoping it a) stays down, and b) passes through my digestive system and doesn't just decide to take up residence somewhere random in my body.

Also, please note the tee shirt and lack of a hospital gown. Another important development if I do say so myself. And all it took was putting on some pj bottoms and a weezer tee after my shower and assuming everyone would be okay with it.

ALL CLEAR!!!

I just heard from my doc: 86 nodes removed and 86 of them are clear. Thus, I am officially in remission! And he said I could get out of here in a "day or two." I'm on "sips" today, which is basically a shot of water every 30 minutes. If I do well with this, I'll move on to clear liquids (either tonight or tomorrow) and then on to fat-free and then home. I'm really excited! Time to go pound some celebratory H20!